


light the sky and hold on tight

by wethethousands (atlantisairlock)



Category: Gravity (2013)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/wethethousands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then she walks into the room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	light the sky and hold on tight

**Author's Note:**

> it's always been an au idea of mine that ryan lost someone she loved in the tragedy. i have a lot of feelings about this movie + des' full name is actually desdemona - the meaning of her name works with the story.
> 
> title from 'sunny came home' by shawn colvin.

Sarah's death is the first time everything just... shatters. All she's ever known to be true, real, solid, just crashes down around her and leaves her standing in the wake of devastation, debris littered at her feet. For the longest time, she just stares at the ashes, wondering how she's ever going to piece her life together ever again. 

But then, life goes on, as it is wont to do. And she does rebuild. It's not perfect, and she'll always be able to see the cracks; the empty Sarah-shaped spaces that leave her gaping, no matter how hard she tries to fill them. But it holds. 

It's all she can hope for.

 

 

She doesn't exactly jump at the chance to go to space, but Sarah loved Wall-E and always talked about becoming an astronaut and Ryan can't help but feel compelled to see the stars for her. The crew of STS-157 numbers five, herself inclusive. There's Shariff Dasari, who's good-humoured and dances like he belongs on a stage. There's Matt Kowalski, who can  _not_ stop talking but is kinder and smarter than anyone she's ever known. There's Mara Thomas, who gets along with Matt because she has a joke for every occasion. 

And then Des Evans walks into the room, shoots Ryan a smile and says  _hello,_ and suddenly the world she rebuilt so carefully shifts on its axis once again. 

 

 

Evans is a lot like Sarah, which is a really weird thing to say about the woman she falls in love with. She loves space with a passion. She's bubbly and kind and fun to be around. She asks Ryan about her work and really _listens._ She makes Ryan smile, which isn't an easy thing to do nowadays. 

It takes her until an hour before the expedition that she asks tentatively about a dinner date. Evans laughs, evidently amused at how untimely it is, but there's a lingering look in her eyes that makes Ryan shiver.  _Let's take a rain check until we get back to Earth, unless your ideal first date involves vacuum-sealed space food._

 _Sure,_ Ryan answers, and Evans smiles.  _Make good on that._

 

 

Des never gets back to Earth. None of them do, except her. Maybe that's the worst part of it - that there's nothing to even bury, to come back to, to hold on to. Most people get a headstone. An urn. The crew of STS-157 gets a cold, silent coffin in the depths of unforgiving space. 

She won't lie - she's terrified of space after the ordeal, but everything inside her screams to get a shuttle and go back up there to try and salvage  _something._ Anything. Shariff's family photo. Matt's radio. 

Evans. 

Earth doesn't feel like home any longer. Not really.

All she can see around her is rubble, and the dull ache in her heart is all too familiar. 

 

 

A year on they get around to carving four names on a block of marble, then they put it up near NASA, and get Ryan to make a speech. It takes two weeks for her to accept.

She braces herself for the bitter taste of grief on her tongue when she speaks, the twisting of her guts when she says their names, but then she looks down at her cue cards, and -

_My name is Ryan Stone. I stand here today as the sole survivor of the crew of STS-157._

\- it doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would.

 

 

After the pomp and ceremony, after everyone leaves, she settles by the towering slab with two packs of vacuum-sealed space meals she bought from the observatory gift shop.  _Make good on that,_ she remembers, and as she tucks into the food, the first jigsaw pieces begin to refit themselves once more.


End file.
